Puck her? I hardly know her!
by seeleybaby
Summary: Tag to Fire in the Ice. Oneshot from a request from Manda517: She wanted Booth and Brennan and hockey and bickering and fluff. Voila!


"Admit it, Booth" Brennan stood with her hands on her hips. "The hockey stick represents a man's sexual organs, and a player is constantly using that to try to block other men from penetrating and invading a wide open goal with the puck. And obviously the goal represents a woman's v---"

"Voting rights!" Booth clamped a hand over her mouth and looked at her in horror. "First of all, no! Bones…hockey is not a metaphor for sexual conquest, okay? It's just guys. And ice. And some violence, and teamwork, and for once, would you just leave your analysis out of it?"

Brennan shrugged and removed his hand from her mouth, wrapping his fingers in hers as they made another circle around the ice. "I'm just saying that from an anthropological standpoint, what I saw was you asserting your dominance on the ice." She smiled. "And that's why you love hockey so much, because it's an extension of how you'd like to be perceived in the bedroom."

Booth raised an eyebrow. "Hockey. And sex?"

"Yes" she nodded. "There are clearly alpha males, and then other males who look up to them…"

"That doesn't mean it's about sex, Bones." He pulled away from her and turned to skate backward in front of her. "But if it did…then what does it say about you, hmm?'

Brennan straightened her shoulders and shook her head. "It says nothing about me. Except that I was the impartial viewing party, examining the evidence and making a qualified observation."

"Yeah, right" he scoffed. "Okay…" he skated even more quickly, and she had to bear down hard to keep up with him. "You just keep telling yourself that."

"Gladly" she called. "Because it's the truth."

"Oh really?" he skated over to the penalty box and leaned against it. "I seem to remember a certain forensic anthropologist who looked _pret-ty_ impressed by my 'dominance'.

She gasped. "I was not!"

He laughed. "Come off it, Bones. I know an impressed female when I see one, and believe me…you were _impressed_." He held up his hand and blinked, a huge smile on his face, his eyes wide and adoring. "Hi" he mimicked her greeting during his game and wiggled his fingers.

She stomped one skate in fury. "I have NEVER acted like that."

"Hmmmm….that's just my 'qualified observation', Bones, based on the 'evidence', you see." He laughed and skated away. "But don't be mad at me…I'm just an impartial viewing party" he called behind him.

She skated in the opposite direction of him, but he was too quick for her, and was soon making figure eights around her. Brennan used all of her balance to keep from falling down, as she kept turning to try to maintain eye contact with Booth.

"Neanderthal" her eyes narrowed.

His just brightened more. "And you _like_ it"

"How dare you insinuate that I…" she was cut off as he skated precariously close to her.

"Easily, Bones, because…" he continued his crisscrossing pattern around her. "Because while that may have been your first game…"his grin widened and he skated right up to her and then skidded to a stop at the last possible second. "It wasn't mine." Booth turned away and began skating around the rink, his arms open. "You liked feeling the anticipation of what was going to happen next. And like a nervous bride on the first night, you blushed and bit your lip." He winked and she glared at him. "But you wanna know the REAL reason you liked the game so much?" his smile was wide.

"Please" she drolled. "Enlighten me."

He just laughed at her then called loud enough that the whole stadium could have heard if anyone else had been in there "Because I'm the best, baby!"

"Maybe I was more impressed with Wendell, or some of the other hockey players, ever think of that?" she called in his direction.

He just laughed and smiled wider. "So you admit you were impressed, then?"

Her eyes narrowed and she skated toward him, but he was too quick for her, and every time she would get close, he would weave away from her, laughing at her attempts.

Finally he grabbed her around the waist and shoved her a bit roughly against the glass. "Now, Bones…" his eyes flashed. "You're getting me all worked up, and you're supposed to be helping me"

She shoved him away from her and skated away, hitting at his hands when he tried to put them on her waist.

"Don't be mad, Bones. I'm just asserting my dominance on the ice." He mocked, and she stopped, then turned abruptly.

"You…"she steamed. "Just….just….Puck you, Booth!" she whirled around and tried to storm away, understandably difficult on ice skates, but she did her best.

But it didn't matter how fast or slow she went, because Booth was laughing so hard he'd fallen to the ice.

Brennan watched for awhile as he rolled over to his stomach, his legs curled in as he tried to hold in his laughter.

She skated over to him and stood over him. "It's not that funny, Booth" she placed her hands on her hips.

He rolled back onto his back and looked at her. His eyes reflected the mirror ball in the center of the rink, and they twinkled. For her…

"You're the best, you know that, Bones?"

She couldn't really stay angry with him and her lips curled up in an unwelcome smile. Reaching down with her hand, she tried to lift him, but didn't complain when he pulled her down to sit next to him instead.

Her shoulder leaned against his, and he sighed, his head leaning toward her. "Puck you? I barely know you!"

Brennan chuckled as Booth started laughing again. Soon he'd wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned his head further into her shoulder. She just leaned with him, and laughed.


End file.
